Officially Diagnosed...

...Again.

I spoke with Dr. Harry today. He supported the MS diagnosis given to me (twice, lol) by Dr. Idiot Gabby.

My spine MRI was clear--no visible lesions. My Vitamin D level was 50, which is right in the middle of where it should be. My calcium level was fine; no increased risk for kidney stones for now (whew). I tested positive for the JC virus, which means that I am at increased risk for a fatal brain infection if I choose to use a medication called Tysabri.

The tests for copper deficiency, Sjogren's syndrome, neuromyelitis optica, and lupus were all negative. What a relief. Gee, it is only MS.

So I can keep my screening appointment with Dr. Rick next week. If I do not qualify for the study, I can speak with Dr. Harry about getting on a disease-modifying drug.

But that means I will really be injecting myself. This is suddenly more real. I have mixed feelings--let's save that for the emotions section, hm?

Meanwhile, I feel like I might be coming down with something. Hopefully it is not the explosive diarrhea one of my students had yesterday!

Sensory:

-Pins and needles: 4? This, dysesthesia, and numbness all blur together. It is hard to separate them.

-Tingles: 0? The pain blurs other feelings.

-Dysesthetic pain: 8. Seriously. I should have known when it was already a 4 when I woke up that today would be a doozy. It was up and down, but this evening has been absolutely out of control.

-Paresthesias: 1, foot buzzing, which has happened a few times each day lately

-Numbness: 5, partially numb legs and feet, plus tongue issues. This evening, I have been lying on my stomach, trying to give my sciatic nerves a break. Well, my arms keep getting numb, since I am bearing weight on them. Out of the frying pan and into the fire.

-Vision: 2, still on the blurry side, plus I am very light sensitive. 

-Nerve pain: 7

-Hearing: 0

Motor:

-Walking: 1

-Sore muscles: 3

-Fine motor: 3

-Weak muscles: 4

-Spasticity: 4, the regular tightness and some muscle twitches in my right glute

Cognitive:

-Language processing: 2, mostly having problems with written language

-Memory: 1

-Attention: 2

-Confusion: 0

General:

-Fatigue: 5

-Balance: 2

-Sleep: 4, had trouble sleeping again--bad dreams, waking up scared

-Bladder: 2, which is so discouraging

-Proprioception: 1

Emotions: I am relieved that I will get treatment. I am relieved that I am being believed. I am apprehensive about giving myself injections. Forever. The rest of my life! That is overwhelming. I am sad that I have MS. I do not think it has fully hit me. Maybe people are right that it takes a year to process and accept the diagnosis.

This cannot be my reality.