Church Is Good, Numbness Is Bad

I forgot to mention that I called Dr. Harry's office Thursday and Friday. Ready to run down there and hold a sit in to get the results of my bloodwork and MRI. I never did read the MRI myself, but I am planning to tomorrow. If I can remember. Which I probably cannot.

Today I went to church. Yea! I like church.

I cannot believe that I am still interpreting most of the meetings. Crazy. I am not interpreting in the community, except for band and orchestra performances (they pay me to announce the names of songs and then sit there--what a gig!), which is because I totally suck at interpreting.

Sensory:

-Pins and needles: 1, haha I was about to rate this 0 until I checked in with my body... yeah, I have them right now in my left foot

-Tingles: 0

-Dysesthetic pain: 3

-Paresthesias: 1, some itches that I am pretty sure are not itching from histamine

-Numbness: 4, left foot/leg off and on--well, on when sitting, even on a well-padded chair. Thigh front problems just hit now. And I had mild tongue sensation problems again today. Losing feeling in my mouth no es muy bueno. (Yes, I totally pretended that I speak Spanish?)

-Vision: 2

-Nerve pain: 5

-Hearing: 1, darned tinnitus again this pm

Motor:

-Walking: 2

-Sore muscles: 4

-Fine motor: 3--tried to play the organ, boo. And piano, mini boo. It seems like the more I practice, the worse I get. My motor skills decline quickly. And the organ is just so much harder than it used to be.

-Weak muscles: 5, it seems like I downgrade this on days that I do not do anything strength-related, ha

-Spasticity: 4

Cognitive:

-Language processing: 3, my auditory processing suuuucks. Yeah, I had trouble understanding every single person who shared their testimony today. So?? Hm, but Sunday School was not bad. I had to focus and listen, but that was more an attention thing. And RS was fine, except again needing to focus. I suppose the fact that Sacrament meeting uses a sound system and I am two feet from the actual speaker during SS/RS might make a different. Yeah.

-Memory: 2

-Attention: 3, see above... sigh

-Confusion: 1

General:

-Fatigue: 6, I just wanted to curl up in a ball at church today. My body was begging to lie down. I vegged out for a while after church, and then I went back after the other ward was done to practice the organ. I played for about 45 minutes, which is unreasonable in my current condition, but I was in musician's trance. Like stitcher's trance--once you start, you can't stop! ;) Well, I paid for it afterward.

-Balance: 1

-Sleep: 4, went to bed a bit late and got up a bit early--not by choice! I wanted to hit the 8:00 am choir practice today. Um, I guess that is by choice. I mean, not by force, lol. Choir was totally worth it!

-Bladder: 0

-Proprioception: 1

Emotions: Someone at church asked me how I was doing while I was standing up to stretch my legs between meetings. I said that I was doing okay, that I was just trying to feel my leg again. I wasn't happy about it, but I wasn't terribly bothered. Gee, darn.

Later I went huh? I do not think I appreciated the magnitude of my response: "Trying to feel my leg again." Who says that????

Sometimes I think my emotions are blunted, or maybe I am like an abuse victim who has a new (horrible) normal. Maybe it is just adaptability. Maybe it is distance between my consciousness and the situation. Maybe it is a way to get through the day without crying! 

Sadly, I did not mind the numbness I was feeling, because it was the cold numbness, which is way better than the mixed numbness and pins/needles. The cold numbness feels like ice water is being poured through me. It was not really painful, so I was feeling lucky. Yeah, definitely a new normal if a half-numb leg is "lucky."