Talked to Neurologists and Had a Weird Dream

I called Dr. Harry's office to ask if my lab and MRI orders had been sent... nope! No, and Dr. Harry had just emailed the secretary today about the MRI. She had heard nothing about any labs. I told her exactly what they were, and she emailed Dr. Harry about it (typing as we talked). I was seriously steaming about this situation.

Totally unrelated, later I heard from Dr. Rick. He said that Dr. Harry had told him that my diagnosis is not yet certain, so we cannot get going on the study until it is. I told him yes, I need to get my copper and NMO antibodies checked, and then Dr. Harry will be comfortable with an MS diagnosis.

Dr. Rick was like, "Huh? It would be surprising if copper or NMO were at the root of your problems--they are quite rare. MS is much more likely. I don't understand why..." Yeah. I don't understand why, too!

I expressed my frustration that I have been waiting over a week for those orders, and they are not even in the mail. That I am struggling with vision and walking (forgot to mention the mind-bending pain and the fact that I could not remember colleagues' names at a meeting this morning), and I want to be on meds. Dr. Rick said he will follow up.

Then he wanted to talk more about the study. I told him that I read the consent forms (20+ pages each) well and that I am still leaning toward the daclizumab study. He said that is great, that I seem to be a good candidate for that study. He said that he will contact me next week, that hopefully we can get my first screening appointment set.

There are two screening appointments, which involve a neurological evaluation, a brain MRI, and bloodwork galore. The consent form spells out exactly how much blood will be drawn--in tablespoons! I found that macabre, somehow.

Sensory:

-Pins and needles: 2

-Tingles: 2, had the skin ones again, which frankly sucked

-Paresthesias (burning): 5

-Paresthesias (other): 3, feels like someone is pressing their thumb into my left sciatic nerve, on the back of my thigh--not enjoyable

-Numbness: 3, my left fingertips seem to be on the way out

-Vision: 3, worse today. I do not know why I am hesitant to move this rating to a 4.

-Nerve pain: 5

Motor:

-Gait: 4, I was super slow for a while this afternoon. Old people with walkers could have lapped me, lol. And I had trouble with some stone steps, which I have used without even thinking about it before. They are kind of uneven--I think they are like 200 years old. I had trouble going up and down them. I also had trouble going down the stairs in my home today.

-Sore muscles: 6

-Fine motor: 2

-Weak muscles: 5, a colleague looked at me funny when I had trouble opening a door. I guess it was not so heavy to her.

-Spasticity: 5, my right gastroc and left hamstring near groin. The back of my thigh is so tight.

Cognitive:

-Language processing: 2, had trouble following a rapid, technical discussion this morning.

-Memory: 1

-Attention: 1--but maybe I had trouble paying attention because I was struggling to understand

-Confusion: 1

General:

-Fatigue: 7

-Balance: 3

-Sleep: 4

-Bladder: 2

Remember that I mentioned an odd dream yesterday? I was surprised at my meeting this morning to realize that it may be based in reality. My boss brought up suicidal thoughts several times--and not to be funny, more like blurting it out without realizing how it came across. She did try to play it off. It was actually rather disturbing and caused some tension in the room. Lots of worried looks. 

My dream was that we were at church together (I had invited her), and after sacrament meeting, we talked for a while. Then she went somewhere. I looked for her. I called her cell phone, and after a few minutes she commented that she had been about to jump in the river (which was conveniently about 50 feet from the church building). But my call made her realize someone cared, so she came in. As she came in the door, I woke up.

Isn't that strange that she would bring up suicidal thoughts the day after I had that dream?