Lost Limb: Reward... Oh Wait, I Have MS So I'm Broke. Sorry, No Reward.

My "lost" hands have come to mind a few times since my MRI two days ago. Because I have cognitive problems, the issue has left my mind before I could fully think it through, of course. In fact, I will be surprised if I can write a coherent post about it in a single sitting. My brain is not cooperating right now.

Let us review what happened:

I was in the MRI tube for a while when my left hand disappeared. Then my right. I am trying to remember if my legs did... Um... Yes, I think so. They did during my EEG, another test where I had to lie completely still for a long time.

This also happens to me when I try to take a nap, which slightly freaks me out and makes napping even more difficult than it already is. I think I fall asleep quickly enough at night that it is not a problem.

Basically, if I do not move for a while, I will lose track of my legs and hands. Not my whole arms. Yet?

I googled to see if this is truly a proprioceptive problem and not numbness. Seems to be. Also, it is more logical that is would be proprioceptive, because numbness would not subside immediately upon moving. During my MRI, if I moved my thumb a tad, I could suddenly feel the padding next to it.

As I was googling, I saw many people describing proprioceptive problems that I have but had not thought of in those terms. When it is dark, they bump into walls and "march" instead of walking.

I do this!!

If I try to walk in the dark, I lift my legs way too high without trying. And not evenly, either. I might have a sort of okay step, then a really high one. And I do bump into walls. Remember how I keep chalking this up to balance issues and saying that my balance problems are only in the dark? They were proprioceptive problems! I do lose my balance occasionally and begin to tip over, but the proprioceptive problems happen every day.

Another thing people commented on that I have experienced is clumsiness related to misjudging distances, like not realizing how close my leg was to a coffee table. Everyone stubs their toe sometimes, but I knock into stuff regularly.

I nearly fell down the stairs today--onto a hard tile floor, yikes. I was going upstairs quickly and was about three quarters of the way up when I misjudged where the next steps would be and tripped. Luckily I grabbed the rail and slammed my other hand against the wall. Understanding proprioception and the nature of my staircase makes the reason for this clear. My staircase is open on one side halfway up, and then it has walls on both sides. This was in the afternoon, and there was sufficient light in the room that I did not turn on the light on the staircase. That meant that the lighting on the staircase was dim for the last half of the way up, but then it would be fine upstairs. I was just running (figuratively) up to grab something and then back down--no need to turn on the lights. Ha, guess there was need to turn on the lights. I lost track of my feet. I guess I did not know that, because I tried to go two more steps, but I hit both of them wrong, one too high and one too low, I think. It was rather cartoonish.

And that is my treatise on proprioceptive problems.