Bad, Bad Doctor

I saw another ophthalmologist today for my follow-up to January's five-hour ordeal. Today was only a 2.5 hour ordeal, because I did not need to have my eyes dilated or retinal photography. And I did not have a neuro-ophthalmology consult like last time.

I did not even see the technician today until more than an hour after my appointment time. When I commented on that, she got the doctor (a resident), who said that she knew I had been waiting, but other people had been waiting, too. She continued in her most condescending tone, "I could not exactly skip them to see you. That wouldn't be right." Yes, that is exactly what I thought, so thank goodness you helped me to see reason.

Delightful introduction to that doctor, wasn't it? Things did not get better from there.

She asked how many more times I am planning to have steroids. I was dumbfounded, slowly realizing that she was an idiot. Later I realized that she just did not know anything about MS. I responded to her that it would depend how many more relapses I have.

She said there are other medications for relapses, not just steroids. I said that there is Acthar but that it just causes your body to make its own steroids, so it might have the same effect. She said there are other meds. I asked what they are, truly wondering, as I would love to control relapses another way. She snapped that she is not a neurologist and does not know.

She asked me point blank if I really have MS. I mentioned the agreement of four neurologists... three at Johns Hopkins. Yes, you idiot, I have MS.

She suggested that although I am not a diabetic, my vision problem might have been from blood sugar. For the second time, I brought up my normal a1c test.

She suggested that my MS meds were causing my eyes to be dry, which makes them more sensitive. How sensitivity relates to a specific kind of blurriness where letters seem to overlap each other, always horizontally (such as nn looking like m), and where sometimes I see double but only with thin, vertical objects, I do not know. Anyway, sensitivity makes things blurry, according to this resident. I said, "Steroids can make your eyes dry?" She said sure. And the other MS meds I am on can. I said that I did not know that. Truth! Avonex or daclizumab can make your eyes dry? It was later that I realized she was full of it. She said that other meds could make my eyes dry, as well, and I was on other meds. I asked if they would do that for a few weeks and then get better. She said it is possible. Huh. And only while I am on steroids? I am sure she would have said that was possible, too.

While she was typing her notes, I thought of something the technician had said and began, "If my pupils are larger than normal, might that be--" and she cut in to say curtly, "They're fine."

She said she would put me down for a follow-up in three months. I asked what would be gained by that. It was a serious question; I do not feel the need to miss a day of work just to be insulted and have my time wasted again. I gained nothing today except some baseline data. And that is fine with me. But I do not need baseline data twice. Of course she became snippy at my question and nastily said, "Fine, come back or not, it's up to you."

As I was leaving, she (again with a perfected-through-practice saccharine tone) commented, with her back to me, "I'm glad you are all better." I said that I just wish I knew what the problem was. She said, "Don't we all."

So inappropriate.

Oh my gosh, I just realized... She said that she read my chart. That would include the neuropsychologist's opinion that I am totally fine. I would bet this idiot eye doctor thought I was a hypochondriac.

Good thing I did not tell her that they still get blurrier when I am tired or hot. I am sure it would only have reinforced her idiotic case.

On the bright side, I have had a low-pain day so far. Hopefully the evening goes as well.

Sensory:

-Pins and needles: 0
-Tingles: 1, left hand
-Dysesthetic pain: 1
-Paresthesias: 1

-Numbness: 2
-Vision: 0-1
-Nerve pain: 2
-Hearing: 0? I do not remember having a problem today.

Motor:
-Walking: 2
-Sore muscles: 1

-Spasticity: 1
-Weak muscles: 3

-Endurance: 4

-Fine motor: 1

Cognitive:
-Processing: 1
-Memory: 1
-Attention: 0
-Confusion: 0

General:
-Fatigue: 4
-Balance: 1

-Vertigo: 0

-Sleep: 4, 7 hours

-Bladder: 1
-Proprioception: 1
-Swallowing: 1
-A: 2
-B: 0

Emotions: Fine until that eye doctor visit! Then I was frustrated, hurt, and angry. Mostly frustrated and hurt. Kind of confused, too.