Am I Getting Better?

Do I dare hope that I am getting better? I just a great day (after sleeping well)?

Sensory:

-Pins and needles: 2, left leg/butt, left foot

-Tingles: 0 I think

-Paresthesias (burning): 1, left and right feet--still pushing through the medicine a bit, but I can't complain

-Paresthesias (other): 1, crawling sensation left sciatic nerve at top of leg, also some electricity feelings around there

-Numbness: 1, not much today, whew. I would have rated this a 5 the last couple of days.

-Vision: 3. I still have the floaters in both eyes but very few today. However, I have had some trouble focusing my eyes. Two different problems in this area: 1. I occasionally turn to look and it's like what I see is a little behind my head movement, 2. frequently this afternoon and evening I focus on something only to have it go out of focus quickly. Sometimes in and out of focus--working to get it in focus only to lose it. Far things are better, near things are worse (which is the opposite of when my vision was blurry with the steroids).

-Nerve pain: 2, left leg--again the "thigh-butt joint"

Motor:

-Gait: 1

-Sore muscles: 2, right calf, left hamstring

-Fine motor: 3

-Weak muscles: 4

-Spasticity: 3 for right gastroc, the other three usual suspects are minimal

Cognitive:

-Language processing: 2

-Memory: 2

-Attention: 0

-Confusion: 1

General:

-Fatigue: 3--seriously

-Balance: 3

-Sleep: 1, got a little over 8 hours. Ahhhh....

-Bladder: 3, and I noticed it is worst when I first get up

Oops, Forgot

On Tuesday, I was too busy to blog--I got home late from seeing a play. And yesterday, I just forgot.

I do not remember much about how I was feeling on Tuesday. I suppose that I could if I tried, but that is just exhausting for me. I do recall that I was having problems with losing feeling in my legs. Or partially losing feeling. Pins and needles, numbness, blah. It is a problem any time I am sitting.

That problem continued into yesterday. I am worried about it. I do not want to go numb permanently in my lower limbs.

Gosh, my fingers are clumsy. It is harder to type.

Did I blog already about my baby toe? My left baby toe is numb all the time. And part of the lateral edge of my foot, kind of under where the bone sticks out. That doesn't bother me, but it was a surprising find. I think I knew that I was losing feeling in that area. I use this spray stuff to try to kill toenail fungus (hope springs eternal), and I thought I had missed that toe. It didn't feel wet and cold like the other toes. But I could see that it had been sprayed. So I touched it, and it was like touching rubber.

I'm still pretty forgetful. I am sleeping okay. I am weak. My spasticity has not been bad. My fatigue has been moderate--I do okay most of the day then collapse in the evening.

Sometimes my language is so circuitous. And not just because I lose my train of thought. It's a language processing thing.

The forgetfulness is starting to bug me. I seriously forget what I am doing all the time. It does come back to me. But what if one day it doesn't?

Last night I hurt my hand when I smacked into a wall while walking, just after getting up. Darn balance. I was frustrated about that. My hand wasn't hurt badly... it's just a little sore today. But what if one day I really lose my balance, and I fall?

I guess I should not think about the "what if one day"s.

A Miracle

The room where I often work is in an area of the building that is often warm, because some whiny, perimenopausal women want it that way. It is too warm for my liking. I had a lot of trouble with this last year. I didn't know at the time that I had MS, and that my MS does not like heat.

My room has an AC/heat unit on the wall, as many rooms do. Maybe they worked for individual temperature control many years ago, when the place was built, but it is a well-known fact that they do not work now. I had tried messing with mine last year with no luck.

Today I walked in and was hit with a wave of heat upon entering that area. Talk about frustrating. How can I work in that environment?

I went straight to the wall unit to make sure cool air was coming out, that the building had not yet been switched over to heat. Cool air was weakly streaming from it.

I opened the control box. There was a knob. Off, high, medium, low. I tried to turn it. It didn't budge. I tried harder... and it bonked one notch to the left.

The airflow increased! And it was cool air!

I tested turning the knob one more notch to the left. The airflow increased yet again. Now it was set to high, and it felt that way.

When I left the room to make my lunch and came back, it was nice and cool in there. The rest of the area was like a sauna, but I had an oasis.

Yes, a miracle.

Lamenting My Impaired Intellect

I hate it when I have trouble with verbal fluency. And memory. It is so frustrating. And scary, because that is something that could affect my job performance. And scary because my intellect is ME!

Sensory:

-Pins and needles: 2, left butt/thigh, left foot, also butt and legs when sitting--doesn't matter if the chair is padded or I've only been sitting for a few minutes

-Tingles: 0 I think

-Paresthesias (burning): 3, left foot--I took my mid-afternoon dose of gabapentin late, and my foot got kind of riled up

-Paresthesias (other): 1, some mild electric shocks in the back of my left thigh

-Numbness: 1, losing feeling in my lower limbs easily depending on body position

-Vision: 1, still have the floaters in both eyes. More in the lower part of my vision now, which is nice. I used to have a stringy ball in the middle of my vision.

-Nerve pain: 1, left leg

Motor:

-Gait: 3, hard to walk in my Danskos. Gait gets worse as the day goes along and varies with the amount of walking I've done.

-Sore muscles: 4, quads, arms (esp. right), calves

-Fine motor: 3

-Weak muscles: 4

-Spasticity: 3 for rectus femoris, 4 for gastrocnemius, bilaterally

Cognitive:

-Language processing: 3

-Memory: 4

-Attention: 1

-Confusion: 3

General:

-Fatigue: 5

-Balance: 4--I don't know. It's so bad in dim light (BAD in the dark), and it's noticeable when I get up from sitting. Worse in the morning. But a lot of the day it doesn't bother me. I'm more careful when I get up. It's not a big problem most of the day.

-Sleep: 5, got less then 7 hours. :( I woke up at 5:00 am with a nightmare. I had trouble settling down (and remembering that I wanted to sleep--stupid dementia) but was almost asleep again when my roommate's alarm went off at 5:30. Then I was almost asleep but she opened the bedroom door and woke me up--6:00? Just one thing after another. Finally fell asleep again but had to get up less than an hour later. No surprise that now I'm BEAT.

-Bladder: 3

Grieving: I started to cry when discussing my dementia on an MS forum. The tears sprang up very quickly. I almost cried this morning about it, too. I need to work it through this more. 

Good Day But Numbness Increasing

I went to church today. I enjoyed it, but I became frustrated a few times. I was frustrated with weakness. I was frustrated with numbness--my feet and lower legs kept losing it (it being sensation). When I moved them, they would regain feeling, but there was no reason they should have lost it in the first place. I was sitting on a well-padded chair. The last thing I was frustrated with was my brain. Tears sprang to my eyes (but did not fall) when I had trouble understanding Hebrews. I do not have problems understanding the scriptures. Or did not.

Sensory:

-Pins and needles: 2, back/side of left leg, sciatic nerve from butt to thigh

-Tingles: 2, in arms, too tired to think back on where

-Paresthesias (burning): 1, left foot

-Paresthesias (other): 1, crawly feeling along the upper sciatic nerve (gluteal), also some mild electric shocks in the back of my left thigh

-Numbness: 3, numbness off and on: feet, legs (or just left? now can't remember)

-Vision: 1, a few floaters--they keep on keeping on

-Nerve pain: 2, left leg

Motor:

-Gait: 3

-Sore muscles: 4, calves mainly, also arms when interpreting

-Fine motor: 3

-Weak muscles: 5

-Spasticity: 3 for rectus femoris, 4 for gastrocnemius, bilaterally

Cognitive:

-Language processing: 3

-Memory: 4

-Attention: 1

-Confusion: 3

-Impulsivity: I guess this is off and on. I don't know why it would increase sometimes. Of course, I don't know why spasticity would increase sometimes.

General:

-Fatigue: 5

-Balance: 3

-Sleep: 4

-Bladder: 3

Griving: Nothing. I'm not thinking about MS much. Well, I'm thinking about it inasmuch as I notice spasticity or I register the feeling of electric shocks in my leg. But I haven't been processing feelings or making plans. I suppose I should before the MS Center visit, but that's no for two weeks.

OH, my urology appointment is this Friday. I don't know what to expect from that. Hopefully not another person telling me my problems are in my head....

In Which I Run Out of Steam

I want to do my numbers every day, but it is getting harder and harder. I have to think, and that is hard. Remembering is hard. Everything is hard. But it is important to track my symptoms.

I realized that although gabapentin seems to be helping with my burning feeling, I was wrong about it helping with spasticity and fatigue. Coincidentally they were better early this week, I guess. The normal ups and downs of MS.

Sensory:

-Pins and needles: 2, back/side of left leg, sciatic nerve, also any area that experiences even mild compression--currently my left foot. I realized that I said it was in my right leg yesterday, but that was my "other right."

-Tingles: 2, in arms, too tired to think back on where

-Paresthesias (burning): 2, left foot

-Paresthesias (other): 1, crawly feeling along my left sciatic nerve, along with the pins and needles

-Numbness: 2, in my legs I think. Or was that yesterday?

-Vision: 1, a few floaters

-Nerve pain: 2, left leg (again, oops, I meant left before)

Motor:

-Gait: 4, between balance and spasticity, it's rough. And today I went to the mall with a friend. I started off pretty well, and I got worse and worse, slower and slower as we walked to a store halfway across the mall.

-Sore muscles: 6, quads, calves, hamstrings (I learned that word while trying to figure out which muscles are spastic)

-Fine motor: 2

-Weak muscles: 5, my laptop has somehow doubled in weight

-Spasticity: 6, rectus femoris?, both heads of the gastrocnemius (thank you, google)

Cognitive:

-Language processing: 2

-Memory: 4

-Attention: 1

-Confusion: 5, just not knowing what to do. I'm trying to remember if it was today or yesterday that I stared at the microwave and just saw numbers. I did not know what to do with them for a few seconds.

-Impulsivity: 0

General:

-Fatigue: 6 (OK until 1:30, hit a wall and went downhill swiftly--terrible now)

-Balance: 4

-Sleep: 5, got almost 8 hours but somehow not enough

-Bladder: 3

-Anxiety: 0, OK even at the shrink

On Looking Good

This morning I woke up at 6:40 with a bad dream. Since I had planned an 8:30 appointment with someone from church to videotape myself working with her child, I went ahead and got up. I had slept almost eight hours, but I was tired. Stiff. Sore. I went through my morning routine but also made sure I had fantastic makeup and at least decent hair. Taping, after all. So I stood at the mirror in the bathroom for that, ignoring my legs' requests to sit down.

Then I went to the church acquaintance's home. Somehow I ended up having all three of her children with me. I had to be high-energy for the camera, "in the moment" to demonstrate what I wanted to demonstrate, aware of where the children were (moving them if they blocked the camera), and cognizant of where the baby was. I enjoyed the children, who were little darlings, but I used a lot of energy during my visit with them.

I came home briefly and helped a friend with something on the computer. Then I went to my shrink appointment.

The first thing she said was, "You look great! You must be doing a lot better."

Don't get me wrong, I felt alright at that moment. But great? Now that is taking things too far.

Yesterday I had a horrible day but got compliments on how good I looked, from children and adults alike. Makeup does wonders. And as an aside, children give the best compliments. "You have pretty hair." "You eyebrows are pretty." (I got that from at least three kids, who I think were referring to my eyeshadow.)

I know that I have mentioned before that MS is called the "But you look so good" disease. I can affirm that this is true. I suppose I should be grateful that my struggles are not obvious to the world, so I can keep it to myself if I choose. But sometimes I would like for people to know how I am doing, such as people close to me. I cannot exactly go around saying, "Today I am having a bad day. My spasticity is over the top. Just so you know."

Sometimes I get annoyed or frustrated when I need something and cannot get it or do it--or it is extremely difficult for me and will mean that I will be stuck on the couch for hours--and no one knows how I am feeling. How can no one notice that I am exhausted? Or in pain? Or weak?

Is there something between suffering in silence and being a whiny downer?

Struggling with Spasticity

Sensory:

-Pins and needles: 2, back/side of right leg, sciatic nerve--NEW area, also right foot

-Tingles: 2, left arm along lateral side

-Paresthesias (burning): 1, had some when I woke up but better after I took my medicine

-Paresthesias (other): 1, weird thing on the back of my right leg

-Numbness: 2, lost feeling in the balls of my feet late this afternoon

-Vision: 1, a few floaters, I think just right eye

-Nerve pain: 2, right leg

Motor:

-Gait: 4, but gets better as I walk--harder getting started

-Sore muscles: 6 when I woke up, but then it got better. More like 4 all day--pain in quads and right arm. Then worse again as spasticity increased.

-Fine motor: 2

-Weak muscles: 4

-Twitches: none

-Spasticity: 6, back of both legs especially back of knee, insertion of quads

Cognitive:

-Language processing: 2

-Memory: 5, I feel very forgetful today, better after nap

-Attention: 1

-Confusion: 4

-Impulsivity: 1

General:

-Fatigue: 7, had to take a nap

-Balance: 4

-Sleep: 5, got 7 hours but woke up a few times

-Bladder: 4

-Anxiety: 2 right after I woke up this morning but not sure why. Maybe because I knew I hadn't slept enough?

A Day Behind Again

Forgot to do yesterday's numbers. I forget a lot of stuff these days. My friend was asking me this morning what happened to the business card she had let me use as a bookmark for my MS for Dummies book. The book was sitting open at my spot. I had absolutely no memory of her giving me that card, much less where it might be. I suppose it will turn up. Luckily I remember the name of the chimney company, so I can google it if necessary.

Sensory:

-Pins and needles: 0

-Tingles: Don't remember

-Paresthesias (burning): 1, right foot

-Paresthesias (other): 0

-Numbness: 1

-Vision: 1, a few floaters in each eye

-Nerve pain: 2, down left leg

Motor:

-Gait: 2

-Sore muscles: bottom of quads

-Fine motor: 3

-Weak muscles: 3

-Twitches: none

-Spasticity: 4, back of right leg, maybe insertion of quads bilaterally but worse on right

Cognitive:

-Language processing: 2 

-Memory: 4

-Attention: 1

-Confusion: 3

-Impulsivity: 1

General:

-Fatigue: 5

-Balance: 3

-Sleep: 4, got 7.5 hours but woke up several times

-Bladder: 4 

-Anxiety: 0

Yesterday

I saw the musical Chicago at a local dinner theater place with some friends yesterday. One of our friends was in the show. It was great! I had a wonderful time.

Sensory:

-Pins and needles: 1

-Tingles: 2, in my arms and hands--I don't remember specifically

-Paresthesias (burning): 0. Wow. I do not think I had any.

-Paresthesias (other): 0

-Numbness: 1

-Vision: 1, just a few floaters in my right eye

-Nerve pain: 2, down left leg

Motor:

-Gait: 2

-Sore muscles: 3, spasticity in right leg increasing. Pain in muscle tendons. Also pain at bottom of right quadriceps when I woke up. MS is so weird.

-Fine motor: 2

-Weak muscles: 3

-Twitches: none

-Spasticity: 4, back of right leg. Two tendons feel like tight ropes.

Cognitive:

-Language processing: 2 for expressive. Receptive fine.

-Memory: 4, this would be short-term memory. I always forget when I'm doing, but 90% of the time it comes back to me. I think. Unless I'm forgetting what I forgot. ;)

-Attention: 0

-Confusion: 3

-Impulsivity: 0?

General:

-Fatigue: 5, and I did not do much during the day

-Balance: 4

-Sleep: 3, got 7.5 hours

-Bladder: 4 sometimes--hard to get started, blah blah, the usual

-Anxiety: 0

Nights Are Worse

Nights are worse for sensory symptoms. Burning, pain, tingles, etc. So often things worsen after I blog and go to bed. I wonder if Murphy's Law covers that. I'm still sleeping pretty well, though. I'm worn out every day from working and hanging out on the couch all evening.

OK Day and Acthar update.

Today... meh. It was okay. Honestly, I don't feel very well. I'm super tired right now. But I did get through work must better than, say, a month ago. So I know I'm doing better. Just not as well as late last week. The ups and downs of MS.

Sensory:

-Pins and needles: 1, they're rocking my left thigh right now.

-Tingles: 3, sometimes in my arms, like traveling toward my hands. Elbow to wrist. Narrow lines, not the whole thing. Um, just realized also in my right leg.

-Paresthesias (burning): 1, yeah!

-Paresthesias (other): 0, didn't notice any

-Numbness: 1, same old, same old

-Vision: 2, had floaters in right eye this morning, then noticed them in left while driving. Probably because brighter light. I can tell which eye by closing one. I had some blurriness today, but not bad.

-Nerve pain: 3 down my left leg

Motor:

-Gait: 2

-Sore muscles: 1

-Fine motor: 2

-Weak muscles: 3

-Twitches: none

-Spasticity: 2, back of right leg. Right! Come on, not new problems. It's near my knee, in the tendons.

Cognitive:

-Language processing: 1

-Memory: 4

-Attention: 1, people laughed at me during a meeting today when I did a "wait, what?" about what was just said

-Confusion: 3

-Impulsivity: 0

General:

-Fatigue: 4, more like 6 now

-Balance: 4, when I get up in the dark, it's HILARIOUS. Like a drunk person. Not that I know drunk people.

-Sleep: 3, got 8 hours

-Bladder: 3, OMG (G=gosh) I keep forgetting to comment that I had dark red flakes in my urine. This was about a week ago. It looked like the crap that passed before my kidney stone. Wait, maybe I did blog this already. Whatever.

-Anxiety: 0 all day until I opened the Acthar info kit and watched the DVD on injecting yourself. Then I would say it was a 3. Partly because of injecting myself. Partly because Dr. Rob made me wonder if I should take Acthar. My insurance company denied it yesterday. 

I spoke with an Acthar rep today, who shared that my insurance company denies every claim for it, that they always have to appeal. I looked up information online. It looks like Acthar is about the same as or slightly better than IV Solu-Medrol for treating MS flares. A few people had reactions to it and had bad experiences, but you can also find that with Solu-Medrol. Me, for example. Some people were neutral--it was about the same as IVSM but costs so much more. Most people raved about how much they loved Acthar, that they would take it over IVSM any day.

The question is whether I'm in a flare or if I'm experiencing the effects of not treating a flare and having permanent damage from it. If so, Acthar might not help. But I suppose it will not hurt. And I am still having new symptoms.. and my cognition is getting worse... so why not try it, I guess.

Great Day's Numbers

Sensory:

-Pins and needles: 1

-Tingles: 1

-Paresthesias (burning): 1 :) Just showed up for a little while this afternoon as I was due to take my next pill

-Paresthesias (other): 1 some random vibrations in my feet depending on position

-Numbness: 1

-Vision: 1, definitely have less floaters, just hard to focus sometimes

-Nerve pain: 2, woot woot

Motor:

-Gait: 2?

-Sore muscles: 0

-Fine motor: 3, realized that opening packaging and unwrapping things count under this. Oops.

-Weak muscles: 3?

-Twitches: none

Cognitive:

-Language processing: 3

-Memory: 4

-Attention: 1

-Confusion: 3

-Impulsivity: 1

General:

-Fatigue: 4, worked full 8 hours and only hit a low for a few hours in the evening--a lot of the day I felt normal

-Balance: 4

-Sleep: 3, got 7.5 hours

-Bladder: 3.. or 4.. was really trickly this afternoon

-Anxiety: 0

Grieving: I'm feeling frustrated with my cognition today. Forgetting things sucks. Losing thoughts sucks.

So cognition was not good today, but everything else was. Um, except bladder and balance, which remain unchanged. I think gabapentin is totally rocking with my sensory stuff and my spasticity, and those impact pain. And it helps with fatigue? Or very coincidental. I'm not complaining.

Today's Numbers

Sensory:

-Pins and needles: 1 for the most part, except that they show up quickly (I would severity 4) if I sit a certain way or prop my feet on the coffee table--right foot is worse, but left will be through the leg as well as the foot

-Tingles: 5 for a while this evening, and I thought I was getting sick. But then I started feeling better, so I have no idea what to think. Aside from that hour or so, tingles were a 1 today.

-Paresthesias (burning): 3

-Paresthesias (other): 1 some random vibrations in my feet depending on position

-Numbness: 1

-Vision: 1, still have floaters but haven't bothered me too much--getting lighter?

-Nerve pain: 3 down my left leg

Motor:

-Gait: 4

-Sore muscles: 1 (funny, didn't notice it much today if I had it)

-Fine motor: 1

-Weak muscles: 4

-Twitches: once today--leg but now I forget which. Probably left.

Cognitive:

-Language processing: 0

-Memory: 4

-Attention: 1

-Confusion: 4, and I think I have been under-rating this for a while. I get confused all the time. Almost every time I start to do something, I forget what I was going to do. I have to be vigilant not to take the wrong freeway exit. That kind of thing. Today I ordered too many sushi rolls (I did have a good reason for eating out on Sunday), and then my friend told me hello, we normally share two and you ordered six for three people. Uhhh... I was thinking that we always order two each. But when she said it, I realized she was right. We do share two. It was just sushi, so not a big deal, but the little things are adding up.

-Impulsivity: I don't know, because I didn't drive anywhere. ;)

General:

-Fatigue: 7 all afternoon and evening wanted to SLEEP until around 8:30 perked up. WEIRD!

-Balance: 4, going down stairs is pretty hard. My friend noticed today at church as I came from the podium.

-Sleep: 2, got 8.5 hours

-Bladder: 3, same old same old except also cloudy this evening

-Anxiety: 0

Grieving: Reading some in "MS for Dummies" about it. Reminded me how I feel about it... which stirred up those feelings. But I'm not examining them now, because it's after 10:00 pm. If I can't sleep, I'll work on grieving. {rolling my eyes} Is this really my life?

Fantastic (But Tiring) Morning!

Well, things turned around yesterday afternoon. I ended up feeling better and was able to go to a practice for a small choir piece for church today. I was hesitant to accept the invitation to sing, knowing how unreliable I am. But when I found out that they would have two people on each part (four-part women's piece), I agreed to do it. At least they wouldn't be completely left in the lurch if my body pooped on me today.

So today I had a non-member friend at church with me, so I was trying fill her in ("They're going to bless the baby.. it means give her a special blessing and officially name her. Stake Relief Society president means etc. etc.") while interpreting for my deaf friend. And today the interpreting was a little different. I sign interpreted most of the meeting, except when my friend gave a talk. Then I voice interpreted while she signed from the podium. That was great but a little stressful, as she signed very quickly. Like I talk quickly when I am nervous. But I made it through. Nobody would know if I missed something anyway.

I interpreted most of church, except for 27 blissful minutes of rest while watching a video that had closed captions. Yeah!

I am so, so tired. Weary. My feet have burned mildly off and on all day, but nothing too bad. My friend retardified a few tired, but not too bad. Honestly, I've had a good day, especially considering how much work I did. My arms were dead after church!

Right now I really want a nap, but I'm going to push on through. Go to bed early if I need to.

So I had a great time at church and am soooo happy for the gabapentin, which makes me functional.

Bad Start

I got at least eight hours of sleep, but I am tired. And weak. The tremor is back in my hands, especially my pinkies. They don't move smoothly to abduct and adduct. They shake and jerk. And my legs are spastic, mostly the left one but definitely some in the right one now. Oh, brother. They are kind of sore in the lower tendons of my quads. And the burning is not completely controlled. It was kind of bad when I woke up but better now. Both feet. When I say better, that doesn't mean it's gone... just better. And some pain in my sciatic nerve going through my left glutes. That would be my butt. That hurt when I woke up! Usually it's okay when I wake up and gets worse as the day goes along. Oh, man, I want to sleep.

Sometimes my body demands that I lie down. Maybe I'm at church or at work or whatever, and I just feel like I can't stand or sit anymore; I must lie down. So tired. That's how I feel now. I didn't have any of that Monday-Thursday this week, which is why I thought I was getting better. Friday a few times. Wow, today it's worse. Just so fatigued. All of my limbs feel so heavy.

Wah wah wah.

Hope I'm Not Getting Worse Again

No word from the MS Center. I will call on Monday. Better put that on the calendar, with my brain being the way it has lately.

Today has been the worst this week. And I am getting worse as the day goes on. I hope I'm not going into a bad weekend.

Sensory:

-Pins and needles: 1 for the most part, except that they show up quickly (I would severity 5) if I sit a certain way or prop my feet on the coffee table--right foot is worse, but left will be through the leg as well as the foot

-Tingles: 3, left leg, left hand, right hand

-Paresthesias (burning): 2, just some in the morning and recently. It seems like it's when I'm at the edge of taking another pill. (I'm leaving that odd language in. Going back to check, I meant close to taking another pill. That seemed not exactly right but an acceptable variant when I wrote it.)

-Paresthesias (other): 1, a weird feeling in my lower left back that feels similar to pins and needles but somehow like movement

-Numbness: 1, still that small patch on my foot. But sometimes my fingers feel semi-numb, which is really annoying. Left hand. Oh, and sometimes I lose feeling in my left leg, for example right now. My feet are propped on the coffee table with straight legs, left crossed over right. Oh and my arms start to go numb if I hold them up. But that's been for a few months now.

-Vision: 2

-Nerve pain: 3 down my left leg

Motor:

-Gait: 2 most of the day, but 4 this evening

-Sore muscles: 5, I think I've done too much the last few days

-Fine motor: 3

-Weak muscles: 5

-Twitches? My foot jumped unexpectedly.

Cognitive:

-Language processing: 2

-Memory: 4, my short-term memory is not good today

-Attention: 0

-Confusion: 1

-Impulsivity: 2 (adding a new category, sadly)

General:

-Fatigue: 6, and I didn't do a lot

-Balance: 4, almost fell today at work, getting up from a chair with my laptop bag on my shoulder

-Sleep: 2, got 8.5 hours

-Bladder: 3, still get HIT with urgency to go, some trouble getting started, weak stream

-Anxiety: 0 I think--I don't remember any

Grieving: I began writing my story. Maybe I'll publish a book, as my friend suggested. I'm counting that as grieving. I'm starting to feel a little angry with my friends on the MS forum, which doesn't make sense.

And Now We Wait

I dropped off my paperwork and MRIs at the university hospital MS center today! The secretary said she will call me tomorrow or Monday to let me know if they can get me in sooner. Of course I called Dr. Rob's secretary, so she can bug them.


Sensory:

-Pins and needles: 1

-Tingles: 3, trying to remember where... left leg and right arm, I think

-Paresthesias (burning): 2

-Paresthesias (other): 0

-Numbness: 1, I guess--I haven't check my foot lately

-Vision: 2

-Nerve pain: 4, I'm adding this category because there's a difference between the burning and other nerve pain. The nerve pain in my left leg has been significant sometimes--down my sciatic nerve, especially in my butt and lower leg.

Motor:

-Gait: 2

-Sore muscles: 4, but it's really more the tendons than the muscles in my legs

-Fine motor: 3

-Weak muscles: 4

Cognitive:

-Language processing: 3

-Memory: 3

-Attention: 0

-Confusion: 2

General:

-Fatigue: 6, but I did a lot

-Balance: 3

-Sleep: 4, got 7 hours (boo)

-Bladder: 3, I don't know why I downgraded it yesterday. It really hasn't changed.

-Anxiety: 2, when I was going to the MS Center. Nervous about how to get my packet to the right person, nervous that they would get me in soon.

Grieving: Honestly, I think I've been pushing it aside. Today I was too busy to work on it.