Back To the Drawing Board

Today was another "DONE" day. As in done with this life. When I am so sick that I can barely drive, barely work, barely move, I feel like I cannot do it anymore. 

When I got home from work today, I could barely hold my head up. It took three hours to recover to the point where I feel sick but at least can move. I do not want this!

I had good days last Thursday-Saturday, but I started downhill again on Sunday. And now here I am, stuck on the couch, with a miserable, sick body. I could take it if all I had to do was lie on this couch, but I have to work tomorrow. And next week, and the week after, and for years to come. 

I did not think it would be like this. I read about all of the physical symptoms, like losing my vision or not being able to walk. I did not realize that fatigue and dizziness could be so disabling. If I had a bum leg, I could still work. But if I do not have the energy to sit up, how can I work? And how long until it is that bad?