On Fire and Out of Spoons

Today I have been in severe pain, and I have gotten angry a few times. In the last few days, I have been angry a few times with my nurse and doctor. It is irrational, but I am angry with them because they are not sick. They do not know how it feels, and I wish I had a doctor with MS.

I have been watching General Conference. I asked a question beforehand and hoped for an answer, but I did not get one. Or I did not recognize one. It is disappointing to have to wait for it or maybe never get it.

Oh man, this pain is so bad. Here are some ways I could describe it:
-A terrible sunburn--but aloe does not help
-A bad rug burn
-Boiling oil poured on my skin

Today it is on my feet, lower right leg, knees, thighs, hips, butt, lower back, lower stomach, right shoulder, arms, and hands. Touching makes it worse. Even clothing makes it worse.

I googled how people live with pain, but of course very few people have this kind of pain. A lot of people with MS have it, but that is a small portion of people in general. Most people complain of musculoskeletal pain, and I try to sympathize, but that kind of pain does not hold a candle to this. I know--I have had back pain since I was 12. Considering where I would place my burning pain on a scale of 0-10, I was debating whether this or kidney stone pain was worse. And I could not decide. But I did decide that I would rather have another kidney stone, because at least the pain would end.

Although I did not find an answer to my question, I stumbled on a great analogy for MS. It was written by a girl who has lupus. Some of her symptoms are different than mine, but it is similar enough that the analogy works great. Go here and read it. Twelve spoons are more than I have had in a long time, but you will get the idea.

And then read this.