Freakin Dr. Oz...

I like watching Dr. Oz, but sometimes he scares me. Or I scare me.

The other day he had a quiz where you were to assign points to yourself based on your responses to questions. Points were bad.

I got a lot of points.

I got 2 points for waking up more than twice a night. I got 2 points for ignoring my skin--supposed to check for skin cancer--whatever. I got 3 points for not moving my bowels every single day. So those were the less critical bad things.

I got 10 points for having my breath smell change recently. It might be a bowel obstruction (I suppose I'd be dead if it were... maybe partial) or liver problem. Liver problems can cause ammonia or something to be expelled through the lungs. Hm. I do have pain in the area of my liver. I just say: On earth we have pain. My doctors don't care; why should I? [yes, you should read my sarcasm]

I got 10 points for going up more than 2 sizes in 5 years. I gained 40 pounds between 2005 and 2008. It increases the risk of insulin resistance and metabolic syndromes. I didn't like gaining weight just because I didn't feel attractive. I never considered it a health issue.

I got 10 points for coming close to fainting recently, which is a sign of a heart problem. I occasionally feel like I will faint, which I think is when my blood pressure is low.

I got 15 points (yikes) for losing more than 10 pounds in six months unintentionally. Um, I've lost more than 25 pounds in the last three months. The weight is just melting off me. I like it. Dr. Oz doesn't. He said it's a sign of cancer, anxiety, depression, or the body being unable to absorb food. Hope I don't have the big casino.

So that sucked. The only things I didn't get points for was having a pap smear, recognizing the faces of the last five presidents (my brain is not that far gone, whew), and having gums that don't bleed. Those were all minor issues.

Today's little Dr. Oz scare was when he had everyone find their kidneys. He showed where they are on the back--higher up than I thought. He said to pound on them pretty good. They shouldn't hurt. My right one hurts. That's the one that passed a stone in March. Dr. Oz said it might mean in infection or something.

Good thing I'm usually at work while Dr. Oz is on.