Let It Out

My shrink said I need to let the anger out somehow. I get so angry when normal people complain about being sick. Or complain about other problems that are really nothing [compared to a degenerative disease].

I feel like saying, "Oh, you think your flu is bad? Imagine if your head felt like that every day--and you still went to work."

One person really bugs me sometimes. I know that he does not mean to, but he does. He says that I can tell him how I am doing, but I feel like I cannot. I do not like to complain in general, and definitely not if I do not talk with a person much.

Here is what bugs me: You look a lot better. You seem better today. You sound better. You seem like you feel okay today.

Here is the deal: I usually am not better. I am usually busting my butt to put on the Normal Show.

And if I am better, it is not much better, and it probably will not last long.

When I hear that I seem better, it ticks me off. It makes me feel sad. It invalidates everything I am going through. And what can I say? "Well, actually..."

I try to tell myself that it is just ignorance, not something that a person is doing to hurt me. It does not help very much, though.

Oh, right, I was letting it out.

That makes me really annoyed when I hear it. I have tried to educate that person, but I guess it was not enough. It takes so much time and effort to get people to understand this. I do not know whether it is always worth the effort or how to tell when it is. I do not have effort to spare.