Casseroles Are Good, Friendship Is Better

Today at church, one lesson was about a man who we all knew of but did not really know. No one realized how kind, loving, and generous he was. And no one realized that he had had some major health issues--he was bedridden for four years. Everyone gave up on him except his wife. The point was made that as good as a ward may be, people with chronic health conditions end up feeling alone.

So true. This is exactly the issue I struggle with. People are great with acute problems, but they do not have the stamina for someone with a problem that does not let up.

My MS is not going anywhere. It is only getting worse. I am not going to complain to people; I do not even bring it up. But chances are I am in pain and feeling horrible every time you see me. Yes, always. Imagine how that feels.

They were talking about how casseroles are great, but people with chronic illnesses need other things. Someone to talk to, etc. This is very true!! But it is also true that casseroles help, too, at least for me. I am so tired every day that I certainly am not cooking casseroles. I would be eating TV dinners every day if someone did not cook for me.

I took Vicodin again today and tolerated it well. It might help a little, but not much.

I felt sort of hungry after 7-8 hours of not eating. More like nauseated than really hungry. Still not feeling full when I have eaten a lot. Afterward my stomach feels big and bloated, but it takes time to notice that. So I have to monitor what I eat visually instead of relying on feeling full, like usual.

I became dizzy a few times today, most notably during the third hour of church. Oh my goodness, I was so exhausted after church today. I had no help with interpreting. I interpreted the first and third hours. And of course I did choir before church. And got set apart after church (after waiting around for 20 minutes). Utter exhaustion. I could barely walk out of there.

I emailed Dr. Rick about the dry mouth problem. Today it was dry again, maybe a tiny bit better than yesterday. Less sour, for sure. But I woke up with the roof of my mouth feeling quite raw, and that has continued. It hurt to take pills and to eat. Dr. Rick said that is likely from the amitriptyline, and we can try something else.

I also mentioned the can't feel hungry, can't feel full problem. He said he does not know what to think about that. At least he is honest. I like that.

Sensory:

-Pins and needles: 7
-Tingles: 0
-Dysesthetic pain: 9
-Paresthesias: 8

-Numbness: 3
-Vision: 3, good morning but then it got worse. Fluctuating. Not as bad as it was though.
-Nerve pain: 6
-Hearing: 1

Motor:
-Walking: 2
-Sore muscles: 4
-Fine motor: 3, dropping stuff, poor writing, poor fingerspelling
-Weak muscles: 4
-Spasticity: 5

Cognitive:
-Processing: 2
-Memory: 0
-Attention: 0
-Confusion: 0

General:
-Fatigue: 7, and I think the dizziness made this worse
-Balance: 2
-Sleep: 0
-Bladder: 0, I am having some issues in the mornings, which I attribute to amitriptyline, but then I am fine all day.
-Proprioception: 1
-Swallowing: 0
-A: 0
-B: 0

Emotions: I almost cried during the part of the lesson about people with chronic illnesses. I tried to be very cerebral about it so as not to cry--success. Then I almost cried when we were waiting to be set apart. They were wasting time, and I was so exhausted. I was past my limit. Then I did cry a bit during my setting apart. That's ok. I was irritable a few times when I was dizzy and had trouble focusing and understanding things, especially in my second language.